Theory of PIMPING Your Abaya




AERWAH, Vut a thing. Myself, Salaam Bah and Moosa Pheer were at the Bullrun (masia mara) at the Plaza, and since Moosa who is always travelling got back from Dubai, he say he seen an abaya for 40000 Deerhams. Vut is it wit dees Abaya ??


When I wass in Soccer Ceety during opening ceremony…I had my Makarapa and media wanted to take picture of my Makarapa and saying that they have never seen such a thing… A mining helmet that has been Pimped..Then in the distance I seen this helmet shining,Like Swarovskie crystals etc..What a Makarapa.. Den I see dis Big glasses on the Makarapa, I take a closer look.Areh Wah.It was a lady wid Abaya..Pimped Up..Swarovskies and silk and Big Prada sunglasses not on or over her eyes but on her head (like the pic shown above)..
I see she getting attention from cameras and media..Bafana T shirt and this PIMPED up Abaya.. But at the same time this unty was marketing other Fashion brands like Loreal,because there was a fringe sticking out and Estee Louder because the Lipstick was as red as Itumuleng Khune’s kit on the day..This Abaya was giving more attention to the media then the opening game itself.. Even more than Tshabalala’s diski dance..
So is this the next biggest fashion accessory after Louie Vittone? The other day me and the boys were in Marine Parade walking..Three Bikini Surfers were coming our way and a unty in PIMPED up abaya.. Everybody looking at Abya unty and not semi naangee(naked) surfers.. Again unty was wearing Skinny jeans…Abaya with swarovskis and Big Gucci Glasses on head and brands like Loreal,Estee Louder were getting exposure..Vut a thing i tell you vut a thing..


Such is phenomena now that BMW are placing a pair of PRADA SUNGLASSES and a ABAYA in the cubby hole of all X FIVES.. What is a x5 WITHOUT an Abaya driving Unty.. Its like PAMPLONA FESTIVAL with no bulls..
While at the PLAZA Salaam Bha reckon dat he got Import Idea..He say he buy Abayas, but these Abayas come with a pair of glasses stuck on the Abaya..You just put the Abaya on and the glasses sits on top of your head glued on the Abaya.. You can buy different variations like Gucci,Armani,Police and now even Oakley.. So what is it with this Abaya.. Is it now like Louie Vittone that you have to looked the smartest? The only way you going to do this is by
The other day did one Unty she was looking beautiful with PIMPED UP ABAYA and skinny jeans and Gladiator  sandles.. Red Estee Luder lipstick I say hello…She look at me and say I dont Speak to Strange men.. I say to myself Areh Wah…If you had normal Abaya I vuld be scared..But you so PIMPED UP, dat I thought you inviting confrontation..Logic has it dat wen you drive 14oo DATSUN bakkie people just say dat car is strong.. But ven you PIMP dat DATSUN wid mags and sound and color, of cos people are going to approcah you and say nice car..Same concept dont u agree..

So who is dees Swarovski bhai.. He vus a Bohemian glass cutter that now make ladies jags ven they making Abaya’s.. Everytime you say word “swarovski’ dee veemen dey go “oh ma gawd, i love swarovksi, oh ma gawd”.. Den ven you go shopping you veel see all these Swarovski’s been shown off in their gleetz and glamour.. Dees veemen, they veel spend 2000 rand meeneemin for entry level Abaya.. But let the husband say he vunt one Daffah kurtah for R300 he get shouting “Essop you idiot, how can you buy a R300 kurtah that you will only wear on one day the whole year. Its insane. Come lets go buy me shoes”..
Dey veel spend dees 2-4 ajjar (thousand) rand on Abaya that will wear for half a day, until the zoo lake session starts.. Den dee latest from the Milan catwalks veel be unveiled.. Rumour has it, dat dees year Zenith from Pietersburg hired the batmobile for the Zoo Lake parade to go with her catwomen Abaya, pimped with leather and black swarovski’s..But these are no ordinary swarovskis.. This is CHINA MART brand.. Same texture, design and bling for a quarter of dee price..
Next thing you know, Uncle Salaam will open a trade partner with Nike’s China office.. Make sweat shops for Abaya production.. Chorowski’s.. New label.. Made in China..
Vut do the husbands and fathers have to say… Are they playing bailoh tactics and just splashing the VISA.. Or are they getting china mart ROKRAA ONLY stock..

UBG, the logo and the post are sole property of Misuse of any of these will be considered as plagiarism..

by UBG

“Hate the game not the Player”


  1. Abdul Chacha
    On eid day I vill be vering my Abbasi kurta vich i bought at tongaat istima in 1974. dey dont make dem like dat anymore.

  2. reh wah so true, throwing all that payha down the drain when one could feed an entire community, or assist the bichara gareeb looko of Pakistan or Palestine.

    Is this a sign of Qiyamat, when extravagance splendour and wastage become the order of the day.


  3. Farhana vis facebook

    Well done guys! What a realistic write-up, as I saw what you’s described happening today in Fordsburg! Ladies were going “gek” for a better word, for a “SWAROVSKI” abaya, whilst their husbands just stood back and watched and when it was the most pimped-up abaya, pulled out the MASTER CARD and said to their wives: “Oh,jaan, you are sure to dazzle on EID’s Day in those swarovski’s!” Oh, PLLLLEASSSSSE…